Unless you are the Dalai Lama you have probably gotten angry at work sometimes. And I suspect that even His Holiness has turned cranky if his green tea was served cold too many times in a row. So for the rest of us mere humans it is not a question of whether or not we will get angry, but when? And the even bigger question is what damage will that anger cost us, especially at work?
The good news is that while we may not be able to stop ever getting angry again, we can learn to contain that damage, both to ourselves and others. Some experts say that the key to anger damage control is to learn to identify the signs that we are becoming angry and the earlier we can do that, the better our chances are of containing the angry emotions. Spotting the signs early is important because once we hit the red zone our brains actually turn off and we are driven by a combination of energy, emotion and enzymes that propel our internal engine to blow/
So what are your early anger signs? For most people they are almost always physical. Long before you erupt in tears or foul language you probably start to feel a little warmer as your body temperature rises. If you could see yourself in the mirror you would likely see your face becoming red or flushed. You will also notice that your heart is beating a little faster as more blood and adrenaline is being delivered to help you decide whether to fight or flee. And your breath if you could pause to check it would be much more shallow than usual, like you weren’t even breathing at all. Sound or feel familiar??
So what can you do when you start feeling this way? The first step is to physically disengage from the situation as soon as you can. Call a timeout, go to the washroom, reschedule the meeting or call, or just make your best excuse and leave. If that is not possible then do what you’d tell your kids and count to ten. Then take one deep breath that just might save you from becoming a complete idiot and focus on getting your breath and your sanity back before you speak again. If it’s possible leave the anger-provoking situation and come back to it when you’ve cooled down. If not then at least your breathing and the break you have created will help you deal with the situation a little more calmly.
If you do happen to blow a fuse every so often, don’t worry about it. Apologize and move on. And resolve to do better the next time.
This post first appeared on my blog at www.jobs.ca
Mike Martin is a writer and the author of The Walker on the Cape, a mystery set in Grand Bank, NL. For more information please visit www.walkeronthecape.com
If you want to live well, and live longer then it’s important to take some steps in the right direction. In addition to getting a good night’s sleep every night and having a balanced diet, regular physical exercise is very important to maintaining good overall health and fitness. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you do something. When you are engaged in that activity, whether it is playing a round of golf or ballroom dancing, it takes you out of your head and your thinking at least long enough to slam the ball off the tee or twirl, and most importantly catch, your partner.
I referee kid’s soccer games a couple of times a week in the summer and while I am doing that my mind is focused almost completely on following that white ball around the field. For a few moments during the game I can actually see the game being played in slow motion, as if time has slowed down to let me catch up. Which is a good thing since it takes me a long time to catch up. It is at those times that I realize that I am not only exercising my body but resting my brain as well.
If you don’t know where to begin then why not try walking? It is one of the oldest and still one of the best forms of exercise known to humans. That is why we crawled upright after being on our hands and knees for millions of years. The health benefits of walking are well known. It burns fat and builds muscles to speed up your metabolism. And walking an hour a day is also associated with cutting your risk of heart disease, breast cancer, colon cancer, diabetes and stroke.
Walking is cheap, efficient, and as a side benefit it clears your head. Get a comfortable pair of shoes and start with a brisk fifteen-minute walk at lunchtime. Try not to think about anything in particular and notice what you see or hear. You might be surprised that even in the heart of a downtown concrete jungle there are small pockets of life and green oases to rest your eyes and your mind.
In times of extreme stress or anxiety, nothing beats going for a walk. But to prevent stress and anxiety from building up, why not be proactive and plan to take a regular walk every day? It just might be your first steps in the right direction.
This post first appeared on my blog at www.jobs.ca
Mike Martin is a writer and the author of The Walker on the Cape, a mystery set in Grand Bank, NL. For more information please visit www.walkeronthecape.com
The warning signs are all there…. You have an unhappy personal life because you never spend any time in it. You are always grumpy because you never get enough sleep. You have a series of continual ailments like mild depression, high blood pressure and you doctor (when you saw her two years ago) told you that you had a high risk of developing serious coronary problems.
You spend every waking moment going to, thinking about or staying late at work. And you still claim that you are not a workaholic. Okay. Just remember that denial is not a river in Egypt. To test out your theory that you are not a workaholic here’s a short quiz to make your own determination.
Are you a workaholic?
1. Do you always feel rushed at work?
2. Do you feel trapped at work?
3. Is your health suffering from too much work?
4. Do you have trouble sleeping?
5. Do you feel unsatisfied about your work?
6. Do you have enough time for family and friends?
7. Do you have time for personal exercise or fun?
8. Are you satisfied with your financial situation?
9. Do you work 50 hours or more a week?
10. Have you tried to slow down at work in the past but have been unable to do so?
11. Have you cancelled or postponed vacations because of work?
12. Do you work on weekends?
13. Do you sometimes get stuck at work?
14. Do you think about work while falling asleep or when you first wake up?
15. Do you over commit yourself at work?
16. Are you afraid of failing at work?
17. Do you eat your lunch at your desk or read work during meals?
18. Have you cancelled or postponed social events because of work?
If you answered yes to three or more of these questions you are a probably a workaholic. So what now? Well, admitting that you have a problem is the first step to moving towards a solution. The next step is to get some help.
This help can range from the very informal like talking to a trusted family member or friend, to the very formal of joining a self-help group like Workaholics Anonymous. Yes, there is a twelve step program for workaholics. There are many other options in between. Find one that works for you and make a plan to change your life, at least the working part.
Start your plan slowly by making a commitment not to work every weekend and you can always add to your plan as you go along. Tell your employer that you will not be able to work any more than a fixed number of hours, any amount less than what you already do would be an improvement. Call your family and make plans to get together since they likely haven’t seen you for a while. Finally take a deep breath and try to relax. You can do this.
This post first appeared on my blog at www.jobs.ca
Mike Martin is a writer and the author of The Walker on the Cape, a mystery set in Grand Bank, NL. For more information please visit www.walkeronthecape.com
It’s not too late to take a break!! According to Expedia.ca, one of Canada’s largest online travel services Canadians have some difficulties when it comes to letting go of work, even while we’re on vacation. The Vacation Deprivation® survey conducted online by Harris Interactive on behalf of Expedia.ca is an annual analysis of vacation habits across multiple countries and continents. There are twenty countries in the latest survey from North America, Europe, Asia, South America and Australia.
For example most employed Canadians (62 per cent) say they regularly or at least sometimes check in with the office by email or voicemail when they’re on holidays. But we’re actually well below many countries measured including workers in India who were most likely to touch base with the office while on vacation (89 per cent) followed closely by Italy (88 per cent) and France and Japan, which tied for third place at 87 per cent. There are some regional differences within Canada as well with employees in British Columbia topping the list at 68 per cent and perhaps not surprisingly Quebec workers least likely to check in at 58 per cent.
But what else did this year’s Vacation Deprivation survey tell us? Well, we’re getting better at taking our vacation time and most people will take 15 out of 16 vacation days that they have coming. That’s better than previous years but on the downside about 25 per cent of workers said they couldn’t afford to go on vacation, an increase from past surveys. Other reasons for not taking a vacation or all of your due vacation include insufficient planning time, being viewed negatively by the employers and lack of managerial support. Regionally Albertans leave the most vacation on the table with many workers being entitled to 20 days a year but on average they only take 15.
One more interesting piece of information from this survey was a question that asked where Canadians were going when they go away on a holiday or vacation. No surprises here. A relaxing beach vacation is the number one choice of Canadians in every province. And with whom? Most often Canadians vacation with their full families including the kids but about 40 per cent confessed to just a couples only getaway in the last year.
Whatever you decide to do and wherever you decide to go on vacation, the most important thing is to get away and enjoy yourself. If you haven’t been able to do it this year, then block off your calendar and plan for a summer or winter getaway for next year. You can take the kids, but leave your laptop at home. It needs a break too.
This post first appeared on my blog at www.jobs.ca
Mike Martin is a writer and the author of The Walker on the Cape, a mystery set in Grand Bank, NL. For more information please visit www.walkeronthecape.com
Moderation: An Overlooked Quality
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http://www.jobs.ca/blog/mike-martin/moderation-an-overlooked-quality