It’s okay to try your very best, but nobody is perfect and to expect perfectionism from ourselves or others is a difficult path to travel. That’s because we are all human and we all make mistakes. A person who tries hard and makes a mistake gets up, dusts themselves off and tries again. A perfectionist who makes a mistake may just lay there on the ground moaning about how bad they are that they aren’t perfect.
There is a very thin line between that striving for perfection and wanting to be perfect, but the difference is a whole world of hurt. Children who have been trained to always be perfect often turn out to be very unhappy adults and workers because their best will never be good enough. Unless it is perfect. Perfectionism robs us of the simple pleasures of working hard and enjoying what we do achieve.
Perfectionists appear to be great workers but in fact what psychologists and psychiatrists have found is that that this creates many difficulties for the workers themselves, especially in regards to their physical and mental health. Another trait they have observed is procrastinating or delaying doing certain things unless the perfectionist thinks that they can complete the task to perfection. They also become risk adverse because they are afraid of making a mistake. All of these factors in turn lead to unhealthy adults and workers who have high levels of anxiety and low esteem.
There are enough pressures in today’s society without the added burden of having to be perfect. As Winston Churchill once said “Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.”
So if we have developed the trait of perfectionism is it too late to change? Not according to Dr. Martin Anthony, a psychology professor at RyersonUniversity in Toronto and coauthor of “When Perfect Isn’t Good Enough.” His tips:
Get to know your perfectionism by becoming more aware of your patterns of thinking and behavior, and their effects on your life and those around you. What are your triggers?
Challenge your thinking and question your beliefs and start doing things like weighing the costs and benefits of spending time making everything perfect.
Change your behavior by exposing yourself to what you fear: Practice making mistakes, though not if they will lead to terrible consequences.
Dr. Anthony encourages people who are perfectionists to deliberately send a letter to a friend with typos in it. And then laugh about it. Because one of the best ways to stop being a perfectionist is to stop taking ourselves so seriously. Lighten up a little and learn to enjoy both life and work a little more. It’s okay to make a mistake.
Basketball coach Chuck Daley once said ” It’s discouraging to make a mistake, but it’s humiliating when you find out you’re so unimportant that nobody noticed it.”
This post originally appeared on my blog at www.jobs.ca
Mike Martin is a writer and the author of The Walker on the Cape, a mystery set in Grand Bank, NL. For more information please visit www.walkeronthecape.com
Gossiping is like kids playing with a sharp object. Sooner or late someone is going to get hurt. A lot of what passes for ‘harmless” gossip is enough to tear down someone’s reputation or destroy their self-confidence. It’s not all like that but when gossip turns malicious it has the capacity to hurt both individuals and the workplace.
Human nature suggests that an outright prohibition against gossip would be about as effective as making bingo illegal. It just won’t work, especially in these days of text messages and Facebook and e-mails. And some people just feel the need to fill in the blanks whenever they see that a piece of information is missing while others see it as their duty to keep the social interaction lubricated with juicy tidbits from time to time.
But that doesn’t mean that an employer or a group of employees acting together can’t agree to limit the extent of the gossip and the potential damage that it can cause. This damage is not only to the good name and ego of those gossiped about but it can also have a debilitating effect on the overall morale of the workplace itself. It does this by poisoning the water in the water cooler and creates an environment where only the gossipers feel safe. And not even for them all of the time.
There are things that both an employer and individual employees can do to reduce the level and impact of gossip. In a formal manner an employer or manager can create a policy that discourages gossiping with appropriate sanctions and by promoting a more positive and healthy workplace. But even more important than a paper document is setting a good example by not participating in the latest round of innuendo or rumour, especially for supervisors and managers. Individual employees can also do their part by telling the gossipers that they don’t want to hear their “news: and by correcting any misinformation which comes their way.
Individual and collective actions like these put gossip mongers on notice that this type of behaviour is not acceptable and many will take the hint and clam up, at least for a while. But just like any other form of malignancy, gossip will flare up again if it is not checked so vigilance is a key word when it comes to stopping the spread of gossip at work. If you think that gossip is okay and don’t see anything wrong with it then what about if the gossip was about you. How would you like it if you heard that people were telling lies about you behind your back? That’s probably the best reason of all to try and reduce gossip at the workplace.
And remember the old proverb: “He who gossips to you will gossip about you.”
This post originally appeared on my blog at www.jobs.ca
Mike Martin is a writer and the author of The Walker on the Cape, a mystery set in Grand Bank, NL. For more information please visit www.walkeronthecape.com
John Kenneth Galbraith, a very intelligent man once said that “meetings are indispensible when you don’t want to do anything.” We must have been to some of the same meetings. The fact is that meetings are the scourge of the modern manager or employee. They can be our worst nightmare, especially if they are disorganized, poorly planned or ineffectively chaired. Many meetings never accomplish anything other than to set the date for the next meeting. So how do you know if a meeting is really necessary?
Here’s a few questions that might help reduce the number of meetings you currently attend.
- Can you get input on a document or policy by e-mail rather than having a meeting?
- If you are part of a committee that has been meeting for a year and has still not prepared a report or recommendations then why are you still meeting?
- If you can’t make any suggestions or give input then why are there again? Can’t they just send you the minutes later?
- Why are there two or three representatives from your section at the same meeting?
- If you know in advance that a meeting is planned but no decision can be taken then can you postpone the meeting until a decision can be taken?
Some basic rules of meetings are that they should only be held when they are absolutely necessary, when the purpose of the meeting is known in advance, and should only have the people in attendance who have to be there by virtue of their knowledge or their position in the organization. All other meetings are a waste of your valuable time. And whenever there is a meeting it should be well planned and well chaired or facilitated.
Planning for any meeting should include defining the purpose and objectives of the meeting and what you want to accomplish. This means having an agenda for the meeting that helps provide a focus and allows the chair to provide direction to participants. The agenda items will also help determine who needs to attend the meeting and if it is distributed in advance it will allow people to come prepared for the discussions.
Good chairing can also make or break a meeting and the number rule for the chair is to start (and finish) the meeting on time. The chairperson is also responsible for ensuring that everyone understands the ground rules or guidelines and any decision making process that has been agreed to. In addition to keeping time the chair or facilitator must make sure the agenda flows and all essential items are dealt with. They should also ensure that key points or decisions are recorded and reflected in minutes or notes from the meeting.
The last thing a good chair should do is…… to set an agreeable date for the next meeting. Now when’s my next meeting?
This post first appeared on my blog at www.jobs.ca
Mike Martin is a writer and the author of The Walker on the Cape, a mystery novel set in Grand Bnak, NL. For more information please visit www.walkeronthecape.com
Canadians may not be the hardest working people in the world but we’re in the top ten of most lists when workers in developed countries are surveyed. This applies to number of hours worked per week and month, and in fewest vacation days given and taken. Some recent studies have suggested that about 25 percent of us don’t even take all the vacation we are entitled to.
That type of dedication is worthy of praise but given the fact that on average we only get 19 days per year of vacation it is both surprising and maybe a little disturbing. When asked why they didn’t take all their vacation owed to them most people said they were too busy to get away. That’s a good excuse and their employer will be happy, at least in the short term. But in the longer term both the employer and their committed staff member may pay a big price for not taking a break.
That’s because there is demonstrated and scientific information that suggests that not taking a vacation can have dramatic effects on the build- up of extra stress and tension that leads to chronic diseases and illnesses as well as contributing to the declining mental wellness of Canadians. But instead of focusing on the negative why not have a look at some of the positives of taking a vacation.
Here are two recent studies that offer proof of these benefits. First, a study by Air New Zealand showed that people who take a vacation get three times more deep rejuvenating sleep after a vacation. In turn this allows the body to recover more quickly from any illness and helps to strengthen the body’s immune system.
In addition research by the State University of New York that surveyed 12,000 men between the ages of 35 and 57 found that men who took a vacation every year reduced their overall death risk by 20 percent and their risk of heart disease by 30 percent. Similar studies on women have shown even greater impact of vacations as women who took regular vacations had up to 50 percent less risk of developing serious heart problems.
But the best reason of all for taking a vacation is to just give your brain a break. The amount of information that we have been asked to input into our heads is becoming overwhelming. Think about the number of passwords you have to remember just to log in at work or get money out of the bank. It’s not just that many of us always seem stressed out and anxious. It’s more that we have little room left for new ideas to get in or space for our creativity to get out. And that’s a loss for everybody.
So this year instead of making all the usual noises about being too busy to get away, listen to the Nike ad and just do it!! You (your family) and your employer will all be happier and better off if you decide to give yourself a break.
This post first appeared on my blog @ http://www.jobs.ca
Mike Martin is a writer and the author of The Walker on the Cape, a mystery set in Grand Bank, NL. For more information please visit http://www.walkeronthecape.com
