There is a lot of talk today about people wanting to be authentic but the truth is that not many people actually walk the walk because it really isn’t easy being real. It’s much more comfortable to pretend, put up false fronts to please ourselves or others, or to ignore the injustices that happen right in front of us, even in our own families or workplaces. That’s why it is always powerful to meet a person or teacher who is trying to follow the path to authenticity and is willing to help point the way.
One of those teachers who is on his own road to authenticity is David Irvine. He is a successful family therapist, consultant, professional speaker, facilitator and executive coach with over 20 years experience in studying leadership. His search for leadership models has led him to work with management gurus and successful business leaders as well as spiritual guides and writers like Gary Zukov, the author of “The Seat of the Soul”, and renaissance philosopher Marsilo Ficino.
In addition to his own experience David Irvine was also heavily influenced by two very interesting books that described successful journeys to authenticity. They were “Becoming Human” by Jean Vanier and the children’s classic, “The Velveteen Rabbit” by Margery Williams. Jean Vanier, founded L’Arche in 1964, a community for people with intellectual disabilities and through this process underwent a journey to human maturity, a journey of bringing “our heads and our hearts together”. The Velveteen Rabbit is also the story of a journey, the journey of a toy stuffed rabbit who wants to become real. He is guided by a mentor, another stuffed animal called a Skin Horse who tells him that being real may hurt sometimes but it’s always worth it. And that we can only become real if we really believe in ourselves.
In his book “Becoming Real: Journey To Authenticity” he lays out an easy to follow plan for anyone who wants to become authentic and a great leader of their own. He believes that authentic leadership is a personal journey and that we are all born authentic with a destiny to fulfill to be our authentic self but we model and twist ourselves into something else to meet society’s demands. He defines the four components of authentic alignment as: Vision, Passion, Gifts and Contribution.
Vision
Irvine describes vision simply and succinctly as the reason that you get out of the bed in the morning. He encourages you to find what really turns you on and makes you eager to face the day. Perhaps most importantly why do you feel called to do in this work and in this life and how does your pay check link to your higher purpose?
Passion
He describes passion as anything that brings you what “deep satisfaction”. Something that when you are doing it; you lose all track of time. He offers this great quote by Gary Zukov as a guide: “When the deepest part of you becomes engaged in what you are doing … when what you do serves both yourself and others, when you do not tire on the inside … but seek the sweet satisfaction of your life and your work. What then? Then you know you are doing what you are meant to be doing.”
Gifts
We all have special, unique talents that we were given that no one else has. Things that we do very well but cannot even remember learning them. Some of our gifts may seem “so ordinary” that we can’t imagine why anybody would want to pay that much attention to them. But maybe this ordinariness is the source of our calling, maybe the most important gifts that we bring to the world that might just lead us to our true path and another level of authenticity.
Contribution
In Irvine’s view there are two kinds of people in the world: those who help, and those who hinder; those who give and those who take; those who lift, and those who lean; those who contribute, and those who consume. The question for us is which kind of person will we decide to be? Whenever we offer encouragement, support, or awaken hope in others we receive many more gifts in return, including increased self-respect, worth, and even better health.
According to David Irvine once we rediscover our vision, passion, and gifts then we are ready to make our contribution. We will also be on the path to authenticity and true leadership. Our own personal journey that will reveal the nature of our unique genius, help us stop trying to conform to other people’s models and expectations, and allow our natural channels to open.
Mike Martin is a freelance writer and consultant specializing in workplace wellness and conflict resolution. He is the author of “Change the Things You Can” (Dealing with Difficult People). For more information about Mike please visit:
www.changethethingsyoucan.wordpress.com
Thanks to my friends at Conscious Success LLC for yet another report that shows that workplace wellness programs work. They have been working for about a year with CaLLogix, aNew Hampshirebased call center company, on absenteeism, attrition rates, and health care costs. And the results are already in.
According to CaLLogix CEO Sherry Leonard, they have reduced absenteeism by 80%, reduced attrition by 50%, and cut heir health insurance premiums by 50%. Wow!! That is remarkable. But the fact is that these results are very similar to that experienced by both big and small companies all overNorth Americawho have implemented workplace wellness plans.
In addition to those basic bottom line results which are reported above, people at CaLLogix who participated in the Conscious Success program also reported a 17% decrease in stress levels, a 44% increase in focus, and a 37% increase in productivity.
The major elements of the wellness program at CaLLogix were a smoking cessation program (administered by a separate organization), stress reduction training and meditation breaks, health eating programs, theme days, customer service week and a 500+ Step Challenge where employees are encouraged to walk and keep track on pedometers that recorded 2,710 miles by participating staff.
In addition to introducing the program, management at CaLLogix have bought in as well, with special training and programs for supervisors and mandatory participation by management in group events and programs. They also play an important role in encouraging staff participation and acknowledging success.
Once again the results support the theory. If a company or organization invests in a workplace wellness program both they and their employees benefit. So if you are an employer what are you waiting for?
Next up…. How to start a workplace wellness program.
Hint: It’s kind of like how you eat an elephant.
Mike Martin is a freelance writer and consultant specializing in workplace wellness and conflict resolution. He is the author of “Change the Things You Can” (Dealing with Difficult People). For more information about Mike please visit:
How you feel about yourself is totally an inside job. Yes there are external influences and other people and situations can impact you. But you are responsible for your own self-esteem. And don’t let anyone else talk you out of feeling good about yourself. Author and motivator Brian Tracy is an authority on the development of human potential and personal effectiveness. He speaks to a total audience of a quarter of a million people a year so he must have something going for him.
Tracy says that your number one job is to keep your self-esteem high if you are going to be successful in any aspect of your personal or professional life. He has developed a formula of six elements to build and maintain your self-esteem. They are goals, standards, success experiences, comparison with others, recognition and rewards.
Goals
Just setting challenging and measurable goals for yourself, writing them down and having a plan to achieve them can make you feel better about yourself and raise your self-esteem.
Standards
The higher your standards and ideals and being consistent and true to them will increase your self-respect and the more and longer you respect yourself, the more positive you will be and the longer this enhanced self-esteem will last.
Success experiences
Having measurable goals allows you to chart your progress and as you start achieving pieces of your goals you start experiencing success, small steps at a time which makes you feel like a winner.
Comparison with others
You can have high self-esteem and be successful all on your own but if you want to have even greater success then surround yourself with other successful people and read about them and learn from them.
Recognition
We all need to be recognized by those closest to us in our professional and social lives. These people are the mirror by which we judge ourselves and if it reflects a positive image of us we will feel better about ourselves. If it doesn’t, get a new mirror!!
Rewards
You may get tangible or material rewards from your successes but they need to be supplemented by rewards that you create for yourself. They can be small like a night out or big like a vacation but they are a sign to you that you value yourself and your achievements. The more you give yourself the more you will receive in positive self-esteem.
So what do you think? Does this formula work for you? What would you add or delete. Comments, as usual, welcome and appreciated.
Mike Martin is a freelance writer and consultant specializing in workplace wellness and conflict resolution. He is the author of “Change the Things You Can” (Dealing with Difficult People). For more information about Mike please visit:
In my last post I offered a quiz to help you identify if you were a “people pleaser”. Not that you needed my little questionnaire to tell you about your own lifelong habit of helping people with little or no return. The real point is to help you get out of a life in the service of others (unless you are in the French Foreign Legion or have taken a vow of obedience) and to learn to serve yourself first.
Start Small to Make Big Changes
So where do we start? The same way you would you eat an elephant. By taking small bites out of a big problem. But every small step you take to stop being a doormat is a step in the right direction.
Make Yourself a Priority
Take the time to know yourself and to recognize your needs. First. Before you start thinking about she or he or they would like you to do, think about me, myself andI.Put yourself first for a change.
Think, Think, Think
Before you say yes, take the time, even a few seconds, to think about it. Then just before you agree, think again. One more time, just pause and think about whether you really want to do that thing for someone else. If the answer is yes, go ahead.
Just Say No
If you don’t really want to do something, then just say no. How hard can that be? You learned to say no at around 2 and a half and they’ve been trying to get you to stoop doing that ever since. Say it with me. No. No. No,
Re-establish Boundaries
Ah, boundaries. That’s where you end and I begin. Rediscover a new country, the country of YOU. You haven’t visited in a while. It’s the place where your needs and wants and dreams live. It’s a nice place. Make plans to visit often. Until you can learn to live here again.
Reward Success
When you do something good, like standing up for yourself, taking a small bite out of the elephant, or finally saying no, then give yourself a pat on the back. Better yet, buy yourself an ice cream, or a book, or a new pair of shoes. Acknowledge success so that you will be encouraged to keep going and get more.
Don’t Give Up
When you say yes when no was right on the tip of your tongue. Or when you put him or her or them first, again, don’t beat yourself up. The sovereign country of YOU wasn’t built in a day and you can’t change bad habits overnight. Get up off the mat, dust yourself off, and try again. Surely, but often slowly, you will get there.
Mike Martin is a freelance writer and consultant specializing in workplace wellness and conflict resolution. He is the author of “Change the Things You Can” (Dealing with Difficult People). For more information about Mike please visit:
Are You a “People Pleaser”?
By Mike Martin
There is nothing better than the person who is always helping out. But if that person is you and you are the only one who is helping out then it’s really not so great after all. Many of us have a not so hidden “people pleaser” inside of us that craves approval, attention or both, especially from people in authority.
This probably stems back to our childhood when we sought to get the nod of approval from a demanding, if not difficult, parent. We continue with these patterns through our friendships and into our relationships and working careers and while it sometimes achieves the desired result, more often than not, it also feels like we are being used.
Here is a little test, courtesy of St. Louiswriter Tamiko Cuellar at http://www.examiner.com/x-25339-St-Louis-Evangelical-Examiner
How do you know if you are being used?
- You find it hard to say no.
- You feel obligated to do what people ask you to do.
- You do things just to please other people.
- You constantly seek others’ approval of you.
- You let people guilt you into doing things that you really don’t want to do.
- You are always there for people but have no one to depend on when you are in need.
- You feel like doing things for people will secure their place in your life.
- You only feel like you are worth something when you are rescuing someone.
- You find yourself complaining that you give too much but keep doing it anyway.
- People often tell you that you are being used or are “too nice”.
If you answered Yes to more than one of these questions you may be a “people pleaser”.
If you answered Yes to 3 or more of these questions you are definitely a “people pleaser”.
So what can you do about it? Lots. But only if you are willing to change your behaviors, go through your fears, and stand up strong for yourself.
See my post later this week for suggestions about how to stop being a “people pleaser” and to start learning to please another very important person…. You.
Mike Martin is a freelance writer and consultant specializing in workplace wellness and conflict resolution. He is the author of “Change the Things You Can” (Dealing with Difficult People). For more information about Mike please visit:
Every few months it seems we have to go through the mourning of another senseless death on the streets of downtown Ottawa. This time it’s the loss of a young cyclist who was no match for the tons of steel that circled around her. I do not hate cars, in fact some of my best friends have them, but I have to say that I am growing to understand that the current mix of cars, buses, bicycles and people doesn’t mix. In fact when they are in such close proximity in the downtown core disaster is not just likely, it is inevitable.
It is also clear that the bicycle-only lane on Laurier Avenue is not a panacea for our problems and in fact it may be giving some people, both cyclists and drivers, a false sense of security. The fact is that the combination of hurried pedestrians, aggressive drivers, distracted cyclists and twelve ton buses is still a potential and daily hazard for all concerned.
Simply put it is not safe to walk or cycle downtown and if you don’t believe me then take this test. Go to any downtown intersection at 8:30 in the morning and try to cross the street at a regular pace of walking. Walk slowly but not franticly. I guarantee that someone driving a car will either honk their horn at you or point their vehicle directly at you, trying to nudge you more quickly through the intersection. And if you don’t move fast enough they will almost bump you to help you along. Riding a bike is no piece of cake either and even in the “safe” zone of Laurier Avenue, cyclists take their life in their handlebars when they approach intersections and the line-up of vehicles waiting impatiently to turn.
As noted earlier I am not anti-car. I love them for long drives and trips out of town; I just think that their days co-existing with people in downtown areas are numbered. It may come down to us or them. The fact is that 70% of all traffic fatalities and 95% of all injuries occur in urban locations and on average one person a day is killed in a motor vehicle accident every day in Canada. Not all of these are pedestrians of course but it does give you a sense about how high the risk is, as well as the tolerance we have built up for the death and dismemberment of people as a direct result of our obsession with driving.
Unless we are prepared to continue to “run like our lives depend on it” while crossing intersections in the downtown core, something has to change. So what can be done? Actually, lots.
We could look at reducing the speed limits in the downtown core. If you get hit by a car at 50 kph you are most likely going to die. At 40 kph your chances of dying are improved to 85% and at 30 kph your odds increase dramatically and you actually have a real chance, 55% of living. Certainly an option to consider if your goal is harm reduction.
We could look at shutting down the downtown core to vehicular traffic, except for buses and taxis, during peak pedestrian periods. This would probably cause major angst amongst drivers and exemptions would have to be made for multi-car vehicles, and anyone who simply cannot walk the extra four or five blocks. We would also need to find swaths of parking locations for people to park away from the core. As much as this would be an enviable option for a pedestrian like me it is not really workable for almost everyone else.
Another option that has worked in many other locations to make intersections safer is to look at stopping right turns on red lights and moving to a system where all traffic is stopped both ways to allow pedestrians to cross. After they have safely crossed then the lights turn green to go north-south, followed by a green light for east-west traffic. This is a system that is in effect in many other cities in the world, includingSan Francisco. A friend of mine recently visited there and remarked that although it looks clumsy it actually works very well and you don’t have to run across the street or dodge right-turning traffic who are trying to negotiate around you. It means that everyone has to wait their turn, but it also means that there’s a greater chance that we all get to work alive.
We need some immediate action to change course in Ottawa while we are waiting for the bigger fixes. This might be one solution that maybe nobody likes, but everyone can live with. At the same time we need to continue our public education of all those who share the roadways and sidewalks inOttawaand pedestrians in particular should never let their guard down when approaching an intersection. And of course everyone, especially drivers need to learn to relax and take a deep breath. Our lives are a little more important than people getting to work on time.
Mike Martin is an Ottawa freelance writer and workplace wellness consultant and the author of Change the Things You Can (Dealing with Difficult People). For more information please visit:
www.changethethingsyoucan.wordpress.com
Ten Tips to Motivate Employees
By Mike Martin
Napoleon Bonaparte once said that “There are two levers for moving men — interest and fear,” but modern managers and supervisors have learned that there are many other ways to motivate their employees. Here then are ten more ways to motivate employees.
Understand What Motivates Employees
Every employee has their own motivation, something that drives them towards success. Your job as a manager or supervisor is to find that out. Some employers have employees check off their own motivators from a list and others do it the old fashioned way, by meeting and getting to know each of your team members. Once you know what they think motivates them you can tailor your motivational techniques to meet their needs.
Rewards Matter
We can say all we want that money isn’t everything (and it isn’t) and material things don’t matter (which at the end of the day they really don’t) but people still like rewards of all kinds and can be motivated to achieve them. Why are affinity programs so popular? It’s because they hold the promise of rewards in the future. So to the extent you can, based on your budget and organizational culture, reward early and often.
Align Your Goals with Their Goals
One of the mistakes that many businesses and organizations make is that they leave the workers out of the strategic planning process. When this happens it usually ends up that the organizational goals are miles apart from the day to day lives and ambitions of the ordinary employees. The way to remedy this is to bring more workers into the planning process at the very beginning and allow them to help shape the organizational goals for the future. They have a much better chance of being achieved if everyone in the organization believes that are worthwhile.
Create a Positive Environment
There are many things that are completely out of the hands of the manager or supervisor when it comes to motivating employees, but the working environment is not one of them. A workplace that is pleasant to come into where employees are treated with respect and feel worthwhile is not just a happy workplace, it is a productive one. It is up to the manager and supervisors to create and maintain a working space that can allow and encourage employees to reach their potential.
Celebrate Success
The speed of the modern workplace and the demands on all of us too often causes us to skip over the many minor successes that happen every day. It may not seem like a big deal to finally figure out how the latest software can actually work or to get the latest issue of the catalogue out the door on schedule but unless we stop to celebrate these small victories our staff may become complacent and demoralized. A pat on the back on the way home might be enough to keep at least one employee motivated and don’t be surprised if they share this with others.
Training Can Motivate Too
Many of us think of training only when we bring new employees into the workplace but what about the people who have been here for years? Employees often see training as a benefit, particularly when it is not directly related to their day to day duties. Lunch time seminars and workshops allow them to learn new skills or techniques to help them to grow but also to feel appreciated and happier at work.
Have Some Fun
Work is serious business, right? Work should be serious but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have some fun as well. Everyone loves pizza lunches or an extra donut or muffin in the morning. It doesn’t have to be a lot but small acts of frivolity have a way of lightening the mood and sometimes even the pressure in a busy office or workplace. You don’t have to go crazy but having a little fun can go a long ways to improving employee morale and motivating employees.
Coaching and Mentoring
Many organizations now use coaches or mentors to help senior level executives reach their potential and many others use these methods to groom their best and brightest to move into the executive suite. But what about using coaching or mentoring for other staff as well? It may not cost too much to bring in a professional coach for one day a week to work with your staff and there are probably plenty of possible mentors in your organization already. Like training this is a tangible investment in people that can only but help to motivate them to be better.
Follow Through
There is nothing more demoralizing to an employee than to be promised something and not delivered it. It causes them to question your intentions, motives and even your integrity and just as word of your good deeds get around, your lapses travel even faster. Your word is your bond with your staff and if you want not only their trust, but their commitment to go that extra mile when things are tough, stick to your commitments. If you follow through your employees will know it and appreciate it as well.
Motivate Yourself
If you are just dragging yourself around the office or if you are mooning about how good things were at the last place you worked then don’t be surprised if your employees are not too motivated to follow your directions. Enthusiasm and motivation are contagious and when it comes to motivation you are the chief cheerleader. So you had best figure out quickly what can motivate you before you try and motivate others. It might start with taking care of yourself and little things like getting enough sleep. Practicing self-improvement or even working on some of your more glaring weaknesses will also help. It is up to you to model motivation for the rest of the team. If they see a balanced and fairly happy leader at the helm then they just might be more likely to row a little harder when the water gets a little choppy.
Mike Martin is a freelance writer and consultant specializing in workplace wellness and conflict resolution. He is the author of “Change the Things You Can” (Dealing with Difficult People). For more information about Mike please visit:
Canada has long been a country that has been a favourite choice for immigrants for a number of reasons. Those have included reliable social services, a safe and secure environment to work and live and the possibility of economic improvement. But most of all newcomers toCanadahave valued the sense of social cohesion and relative lack of a class or caste system that limited the potential of any citizen. Today all of those important aspects of Canadian society are under attack, not just for immigrants but for all of us, and worst of all we are losing our ability and tools to prevent it from happening.
The recent Conference Board of Canada report on the income equality gap inCanadasimply highlights this situation and the dangerous extent of the decline thatCanadaand Canadians are facing. In less than ten yearsCanadahas moved from middle of the pack in income equality to 22nd place out of 32 OECD countries. Perhaps even more worrisome is the fact that our rates are declining faster than even the United States and that this occurred while we were still growing our economy and creating tons of new jobs. What will it be like when our economy starts to stagnate as some believe is now happening?
The dangers of a growing income gap between the very rich in a society and the majority are real and well documented by both social scientists and economists. We run a genuine risk of higher crime rates, poorer educational outcomes, more health related issues and the development of an economic underclass that will erode our society from the inside out. The Conference Board report and others from the OECD are simply harbingers of what’s to come, the proverbial canaries in the coal mine.
They are now being echoed by some of the same people who have benefitted most from the increasing equality gap, people who know the consequences of continuing down this road. Very smart people, like Warren Buffet in theUnited Stateswho know that it is not only the right thing to do but a strategic business decision to have the very wealthy and the corporate elite pay their fair share. The voices in Canada have not been as loud but even the Canadian Council of Chief Executives has lately and somewhat reluctantly come on board with the idea of higher taxes for ultra rich Canadians in order to ameliorate the situation.
The problem is that we may be too far down the road to affect any more than a cosmetic change to this problem for a very long time. That’s because we as a society have removed or weakened many of the mechanisms that naturally prevent the equality gap and the resultant loss in social cohesion from occurring and growing. The two main arms to battle these issues have traditionally been taxation and public services and through progressive taxes like income tax and the creation of equally accessible public services Canada has since its inception maintained some sense of equality.
The past ten years have seen an almost complete abdication of the use of these tools to make our society more fair and in fact have gone almost completely overboard in the other direction. From 1997 to 2007 a full third of all income gains went to the richest one percent of Canadians and corporate taxes have fallen every year for the last ten years. The public service as an institution has been under a full frontal assault by politicians and right wing foundations for the last twenty years and very good and practical ideas like a national drug plan or a real child care program have been dead on arrival.
But even more discouraging to people who want a level playing field in Canada has been the on-going attack on the rights of working people to protect themselves in tough economic times. Today inCanadathe very right to collective bargaining is once again on the front burner and we have a federal government who does not hesitate to threaten to impose its will on the bargaining process through intimidation and legislation. Wisconsin is closer than we think and if governments like Brad Wall’s in Saskatchewan are re-elected or those like Tim Hudak’s are elected in Ontario we will see a similar result inCanada.
Other good ideas like a guaranteed annual and adequate income have very little public credence any more, having been battered and bruised by groups like the Fraser Institute and the Harper Conservatives. We are even in danger of losing such basic implements like minimum wages and I am no longer surprised when I see articles and op-ed pieces that claim that minimum wage laws actually hurt the poor.
The only good news is that as Led Zeppelin once famously said “There’s still time to change the road you’re on”. This will mean a radical shift in our thinking about taxation, public services, and the rights of ordinary people to have an equal chance at success. Let’s hope that somebody in Ottawa is listening.
Mike Martin is a freelance writer and consultant specializing in workplace wellness and conflict resolution. He is the author of “Change the Things You Can” (Dealing with Difficult People). For more information about Mike please visit:
Creating Positive Workplace Attitudes
By Mike Martin
There are two types of attitude in every workplace, positive and negative attitudes. Negative attitudes can result from a series of factors including the overall workplace environment, the attitude of superiors and the individual themselves. Positive attitudes can result from the exactly the same situational and personal factors. What is the difference? The difference is in the thinking.
People with a negative attitude may have a lot of reasons to be less than positive in their workplace but the primary reason for their negativity is actually their thinking. Scientists and researchers who have studied this phenomenon have come up with a long list of thinking patterns that they call distorted thinking styles. Have a look at the list and see if you can recognize yourself or others in your workplace.
- Filtering: You take the negative details and magnify them while filtering out all positive aspects of a situation.
- Polarized Thinking: Things are black or white, good or bad. You have to be perfect or you’re a failure. There is no middle ground.
- Overgeneralization: You come to a general conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence. If something bad happens once you expect it to happen over and over again.
- Mind Reading: Without their saying so, you know what people are feeling and why they act the way they do. In particular, you are able to divine how people are feeling toward you.
- Castastrophizing: You expect disaster. you notice or hear about a problem and start “what if’s”. What if tragedy strikes? What if it happens to you?”
- Personalization: Thinking that everything people do or say is some kind of reaction to you. You also compare yourself to others, trying to determine who’s smarter, better looking, etc.
- Control Fallacies: If you feel externally controlled, you see yourself as helpless, a victim of fate. The fallacy of internal control has you responsible for the pain and happiness of everyone around you.
- Fallacy of Fairness: You feel resentful because you think you know what’s fair but other people won’t agree with you.
- Blaming: You hold other people responsible for your pain, or take the other tack and blame yourself for every problem or reversal.
- Should: You have a list of ironclad rules about how you and other people should act. People who break the rules anger you and you feel guilty if you violate the rules.
- Emotional Reasoning: You believe that what you feel must be true-automatically. If you feel stupid and boring, then you must be stupid and boring.
- Fallacy of Change: You expect that other people will change to suit you if you just pressure or cajole them enough. You need to change people because your hope for happiness seem to depend entirely on them.
- Global Labeling: You generalize one or two qualities into a negative global judgment.
- Being Right: You are continually on trial to prove that your opinions and actions are correct. Being wrong is unthinkable and you will go to any length to demonstrate your rightness.
- Heaven’s Reward Fallacy: You expect all your sacrifice and self-denial to pay off, as if there were someone keeping score. You feel better when the reward doesn’t come
- Passive Thinking: You believe that your wants, needs and rights are not important enough to assert with others.
Don’t be surprised if you see yourself being labeled a few times in this exercise. Where do these negative thinking patterns come from? Maybe it is your upbringing or your family dynamics or just your coping mechanism for life. In any case it really doesn’t matter how you got this way, what is important is to recognize that these patterns are contributing to a negative attitude at work and in order to create a positive attitude some things will have to change.
Where do you start? Just be recognizing your patterns you have made a beginning. This knowledge will let you see how your thinking is affecting your day to day life especially at work. For the next week keep a negative thinking log that tracks when you feel less than positive at work. Try and identify the thinking style that accompanies that feeling. Then check it against reality. Is it real or just your old thinking pattern? If it’s just your distorted thinking style then you are ready for change.
It may sound simple but the best way to deal with a negative thought is to replace it with a positive one. Your mind is a marvelous feat of engineering but it can only hold one thought at a time. If you want to change that thought just focus on something else; anything else. Amazingly that negative thought or attitude will just vanish. Then you can replace it with something positive like what a nice day it is outside or the steak you going to have for dinner. Be forewarned however, if you don’t replace it with a positive thought then the negativity will just as quickly return.
Another quick and easy way to get out of a negative funk is to find the people in your workplace who already have a positive attitude and spend more time hanging out with them. If you spend your time with negative people who are always whining and complaining, especially about work, is it any wonder that you start acting and talking like them? If you are having a particularly gloomy day those positive bright lights in your office might be able to give you a little lightness or get you back on the positive track.
There are many more ways to help create a positive attitude at work, for yourself and others. Remember that if you are the manager or supervisor then you have a double duty to try and bring and maintain a positive attitude. Your subordinates are looking to you for guidance and if you are in a downbeat mood, then don’t be surprised if the whole office follows suit. Creating that positive attitude for yourself will take time and energy but if you can do it at work, then just watch as this positivity starts to take root in the rest of your life as well.
Actually both pieces are interconnected and what you do in both areas of your life will affect the other. That’s where self-care like proper nutrition and sleep along with moderation of all vices will come in particularly helpful. If you can add some additional positives like regular exercise and some form of meditation you can quickly grow into that positive person you’d really like to be.
Mike Martin is a freelance writer and consultant specializing in workplace wellness and conflict resolution. He is the author of “Change the Things You Can” (Dealing with Difficult People). For more information about Mike please visit:
www.changethethingsyoucan.wordpress.com
Many of us are so busy that we actually disconnect our brain from our body at work. We ignore all the warning signs until it is too late. Here are a number of questions for you to answer to know when you are disconnected from your body.
If you answer yes to three or more of these you have a problem. If you answer yes to more than six you have a serious problem. If you answer yes to almost all of them, how do you know you’re not dead?
Are you??????
- Drinking lots of caffeinated drinks: coffee, tea, Red Bull, sodas, Full Throttle, etc.
- Eating mindlessly to fill up that void.
- Being ill and showing up at work.
- Not using your belly laugh.
- Calming down primarily with alcohol and drugs.
- Sleeping less than 7 hours each night, sleeping more than 10.
- Eating lots of sweets and processed foods.
- Hitting the “go” button in the morning and dropping exhausted into bed each night.
- Denying chronic pain.
- Finding the bad snacks at work. (You know where they are.)
- Resisting exercise, even not strolling around your neighborhood.
- Forgetting to touch your mate and your children.
- Over eating (eating when you are not hungry or when you’ve had enough).
- Not petting the dog or hedgehog.
- Justifying that you are so busy that you need to keep doing the above.
(Courtesy of Susie Amundsen @ wiseatwork.net. Check out her great blog for more questions and more suggestions to help.)
Get off the hamster wheel at work and get on the treadmill. Take a few days off to soak in the bath, get a message and ponder how you got into this mess and how you are going to get out. Talk to your partner, a friend or a co-worker and tell them you have a problem and need help. That is the first step to getting better. There’s more to life than work. Get out there and see for yourself.
Mike Martin is a freelance writer and consultant specializing in workplace wellness and conflict resolution. He is the author of “Change the Things You Can” (Dealing with Difficult People). For more information about Mike please visit:
