Mentoring may be one of the latest buzzwords that is capturing attention on whiteboards all over the country but it is anything but new in the business environment. What is new is the utilization of mentoring to help women, visible minorities and people with disabilities and the fact that mentoring is no longer an informal activity but one that is actively encouraged and supported by senior management.
At its most basic level a mentor is simply a person who has more experience than someone else, usually younger or newer in the workplace, and is willing to share that experience with them. In business a mentor can pass on what they have learned and how they achieved success, and sometimes stumbled, in their career so far. They can also help introduce someone to their friends and network and provide encouragement and advice as their mentee learns and grows.
A mentor however is not a coach. A coach acts as a facilitator to help their client find the answers and the wisdom within themselves. A mentor on the other hand will share their personal insights and provide advice and guidance to their mentee. Coaches may offer advice and suggestions about getting in the door but mentors help push the career doors wide open.
Mentoring can be a particularly useful tool for women, visible minorities and people with disabilities because the emphasis of mentoring is on being inclusive and in bringing the mentee further inside the workings of an organization. In many cases the doors to the executive boardroom are not as easily accessible to these groups because of old systems and even older old boys networks. This can become a barrier to advancement especially for women and having someone who has been there before is a great encouragement to aim and reach higher than without this support.
It is easy to understand how a mentee would benefit from having a mentor but what does a mentor get out of this process? According to many who have participated in a mentoring program there are just as many benefits to the mentor. First of all they get acknowledged by the organization for their particular expertise. Secondly they realize that even if they have but a few more years of active work that they are still a valuable asset to the organization.
But most of all mentors also grow through the mentoring process. Sometimes this comes from looking at the organization or problems from a younger, less experienced, but also perhaps less jaded eyes that are open to new solutions to old problems. And sometimes it is just from the synergy that is created when two very different heads work on the same issues. Both learn from the process.
Mentoring works. For everybody.
This article originally appeared on my blog at www.jobs.ca
Mike Martin is a freelance writer and workplace wellness consultant.
The late and great country singer Johnny Cash once said that “You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.” That’s because for most of us failure is just the beginning on the road to success.
Sometimes failing means that you have not succeeded in achieving something. At other times it may mean that you can’t move forward. But it doesn’t always mean defeat. When we try our very best and we don’t succeed at something on our first try. It is a setback, but it is only a failure if we do not learn our lessons, if we don’t grow from the experience, or if we make the same mistakes again.
Henry Ford said “Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” And the truth is that as long as we learn from our mistakes and can begin again more intelligently in the light of our previous errors we are not failures.
If we can grow from the experience of our initial setbacks then our efforts may not always be successful but we are still not failures. The great jazz musician Miles Davis is quoted as saying “Do not fear mistakes, there are none.” What he meant was that we have experiences that we can grow from and if they don’t always go our way, that’s okay too.
The last piece of advice about failure comes from the late Robert Kennedy Junior who said, “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” If you make a mistake, don’t worry. It’s just a marker on your road to great success.
This is not just Pollyanna thinking or bromides to make you feel better when you screw up. Thomas Edison had thousands of unsuccessful experiments before the light bulb literally went on. And he is not alone. Think about something that you have tried over and over until you finally got it. For me it was Grade 10 math. I failed it the first and second term and thought I would have to stay in Grade 10 forever. At the time a fate worse than death.
I wish I could say that I conquered this demon and became a math brainiac but I just barely passed that subject at the end of the year. But I didn’t let my initial failure stop me from moving forward and while I may never be scientist I am doing just fine as a writer. Starving, sometimes, but if you are reading this then I am a success too.
No matter what your field of endeavor or line of business you have made mistakes. Almost everyone in marketing has sent out a sales letter that has received little or no response and there is no one on the planet, not even Warren Buffet, who picks all the right stocks all of the time. The difference between a successful marketer or investment managers like Mr. Buffet and many of us mere mortals is that they learn from their mistakes.
They treat a mistake as an opportunity to learn, and begin again. They also don’t let fear of failure deter them from ultimately being successful. That fear of failure is what holds the rest of back. It paralyses us in a state of dread and inaction that will surely lead us to fail again. Even worse is that this fear can keep us stuck in this place, too afraid to even try again.
As millions of scientists, inventors, and successful people have found out, failure is actually a prerequisite to success. The more mistakes you make, the more you can learn. If that sounds dumb, then think about Thomas Edison. He undertook thousands of experiments that didn’t work out, but he learned from every one of them until, fortunately for us, he got it right. You too can learn from your mistakes and here’s how to do it.
Define the mistake. Take the time to go through all of the steps in the process. What worked and more importantly, what didn’t? The things that worked become part of the solution, the things that didn’t become part of the past.
Take Ownership. Know what part you played in the mistake and admit and acknowledge that to yourself, your team, and your superiors. It’s not just the right thing to do, it stops the blame game right in its tracks so that everyone can move more quickly towards a solution.
What caused the mistake? Was it a human error or a technological breakdown? Walk through the process step by step until you can pinpoint the cause of its demise.
What could fix this mistake in the future? Now you’re ready to start thinking about trying again. You know the cause and can work on fixing it. What will you do differently the next time in order to get a positive result?
It’s okay to make mistakes. Repeat that a few times until you get comfortable with it. But it’s never okay to make the same mistake again. Learn from your mistakes and you’ll never have to go through the pain of that mistake again.
Excerpted from Change the Things You Can: Dealing With Difficult People by Mike Martin.
Mike Martin is a freelance writer and workplace wellness consultant
Workplace bullying is not new and most of us have experienced a boss or supervisor or another co-worker who has treated us with disdain, contempt or worse. Some of us have been verbally attacked and even threatened with physical violence at our place of work.
Few of us had the willingness to complain or report these activities and simply remained silent in the face of these attacks because we were afraid or just wanted to keep our job. So the bullies kept up their behavior until we quit or asked for another assignment.
What’s different about the situation today is that more employers are taking steps to eliminate workplace bullying and to sensitize all of the employees, especially supervisors and managers, about the impact of their actions on the morale and productivity of their staff.
A bully uses aggression and violent behavior to compensate for feelings of inadequacy. It seems that bullies just don’t like other people who are good at their job and have an ability to get along in a non-confrontational manner. They feel threatened by these people and need to diminish them in order to feel better about themselves.
Peer on peer bullying is often disguised as “healthy competition” between workers and will manifest itself by acts of sabotage, undercutting, and spreading gossips and rumors. There is nothing healthy about such a situation.
If the bully is a boss or superior they may try and set the employee up for failure by setting unrealistic deadlines, not providing the necessary information and resources; or either taking away work or just piling it on. In both situations this underhanded behavior is designed to embarrass and harass the employee and is almost always accompanied by verbal assaults and threats.
So what can be done about workplace bullying? Most experts say that it needs to be treated like any other disease. You need to treat its impact as soon as you become aware of it, identify the symptoms early, and eliminate or reduce the risk through prevention.
Define the behavior that you feel is bullying
You have to clearly define the actions, words, or gestures that you feel are bullying. If the person yelled at you or called you names then name those behaviors.
Tell the person that you think it is inappropriate behavior
After you define the behavior tell the person that you think that this is inappropriate behavior and that you consider it to be bullying. Do not engage in any discussion about the behavior, especially their excuses.
Tell them you don’t like it
You need to make a clear, strong statement that says, “I don’t like that behavior.” Resist the urge to water this statement down and it’s important that they hear it directly from you.
Ask them to stop
You also need to ask them to stop this behavior, firmly, but politely. They need to know what you expect from them and that is that they will stop this behavior.
It’s not easy to carry out this process with someone who is aggressive or intimidating, especially a difficult person, but you need to follow these steps in order to try and change the bullying behavior. But remember nobody has to put up with bullying behavior in the workplace.
This article first appeared on my blog at www.jobs.ca
Mike Martin is a freelance writer and workplace wellness consultant
In the Kenny Rogers song “The Gambler”, he sings “You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away and know when to run.” The rest of the chorus is not as helpful or optimistic and concludes with “the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.” That is not the best you can hope for in dealing with a difficult situation in your life, especially at work. If you know when to walk away.
Sometimes it just isn’t worth it. The job, the money, the prestige, whatever you are receiving from your employment just isn’t worth the aggravation that you are going through. If you have are still bothered by any situation to the point where you are ill, mentally, emotionally or spiritually, then take a long look at where you are. If it is unlikely to change then make a plan to transfer/leave at the end of the year and walk away.
You know surrender has a bad name these days. Once it meant a noble gesture that the losing side made to the conqueror in battle. It was a loss but not a disgrace if you had fought long and well. You surrended because you and your troops got to live another day. The ending of the war in Europe and Japan was brutal and devastating. But after the surrender things began to improve and today both Germany and Japan have societies to emulate.
Even in the American Civil War the Confederacy troops were allowed to keep their uniforms on and reatin their guns after the surrender, because they were only clothes they had and because they needed their guns to shoot food on the way home. So giving up, despite Winston Churchill’s admonitions, is not the end of the world. Especially if it means keeping your health and your sanity.
If you do decide to quit your job then don’t do it in anger or haste. Take some time, even up to a year if it’s been a long career or assignment. Spend that year trying to understand what exactly happened while you plan for the future. Learn the lessons about life and about yourself that have been presented to you because if you don’t you are likely to be back in a similar situation sooner than you think.
Walking away from a difficult situation is not quitting nor does it mean you are a failure. Those are old messages that serve no one except stupid jock radio announcers. This is real life, not some game. Walking away might save your life or at least let you live to fight another day.
This is an extract from Change the Things You Can: Dealing with Difficult People, available at Chapters.ca and from booklocker.com
Mike Martin is a freelance writer and workplace wellness consultant.
When is it okay to be emotional at work? The short answer is never but the slightly longer answer has a few maybes. It is always okay to be kind and courteous but even this can go too far if it encroaches on another person’s physical or emotional space at work. It is also okay to be empathetic, if someone else shares something with you, if you are aware of a personal or difficult situation, and if the person wants that empathy. Otherwise, keep your emotions in your pocket and don’t wear them on your sleeve at work.
You can call me a curmudgeon if you want and you may even be right, but I think that there is a great case to be made for leaving your emotions at home when you head off to work. Yes we will all have challenging times in our lives outside of work that we cannot help but bring with us in our lunch bag. And everyone understands when there is a death in a family or a serous illness, or even the changes that a positive event like a new baby can bring. But you still have an obligation to come to work, do a decent job, and not bleed over everybody else.
In addition to the emotional toil that our personal lives take on us there is also the stress, anxiety, and sometimes anger that arises as a direct result of our work or workplace. Even then you have to find a way to manage the stress in a non-toxic way and deal with your anxiety in a manner that doesn’t cause problems or more anxiety for the people around you. What about anger? Doesn’t everybody get angry at work sometimes?
Yes, we all may get angry at work. The question is how does that anger manifest itself and who is that anger directed against? Anger is one of the most powerful emotions known to man or woman and it has the power to really hurt or damage individuals and the people around them. A short angry outburst on an occasional basis isn’t too much cause for concern but temper tantrums, yelling obscenities, or any form of threatening behaviour has no place in the workplace, ever. No can anger that is directed at co-workers, managers or clients be tolerated. Ever.
Anger is the dark side of emotions and it must be managed by individuals, and their supervisors if necessary. But the other emotions can be just as taxing in the long run. A workplace is an adult experience and all those who enter there should be prepared to act as adults, not just mentally and physically, but emotionally as well.
This post first appeared on my blog at www.jobs.ca
Mike Martin is a freelance writer and workplace wellness consulatnt
The Finance Minister of this country, Jim Flaherty, has just told all Canadians who happen to be out of work that they are lazy bums and that they should take any job that’s available. He said that every job is a good job and that he remembers driving a taxi and refereeing hockey games when he was going to Osgoode Law School so why can’t unemployed Canadians follow his lead?
His counterparts in Cabinet like Diane Finley, the Minister of Human Resource and Skills Development says that unemployed Canadians need a “nudge” aka a kick in the ass to get off the dole and back to work. His boss the Prime Minister, Stephen Harper who once accused all Atlantic Canadians, and not just the unemployed ones of being lazy and having a “culture of dependence stands smiling at his Minister’s handiwork.
All of this comes as commentary to parts of a 425 omnibus Budget Bill that’s currently before Parliament and as a backstory we know learn that the Conservatives have been studying ways to force Canadians to leave their homes and relocate to Alberta and Saskatchewan where there are lots of jobs in both construction and the lower paid retail sector. They even had focus groups in places like Rouyn-Noranda, Que., Corner Brook, Nfld., Miramichi, N.B., andYarmouth,N.S.to test out the idea.
What this is really about is what some have called a low wage strategy for Canada. Get people off EI and force them to take low paying jobs, part-time jobs or two or three shitty jobs to make ends meet. Bring in temporary foreign workers by the planeload, not just to work in the tar sands as highly skilled workers, but in the retail and hospitality sector. Make Canadians move to where the jobs are, whether or not there is housing or schools or social supports. Have the better off parts of the country blame the areas with high unemployment. Divide, blame and conquer. That’s the Conservative plan for Canada.
I was born in Newfoundlandand left at 18 to work inToronto. I was certainly not alone and this story repeats itself every day in Atlantic Canada. Go the airport in St.John’s and watch the planeloads of workers, young and old who are flying directly to Fort McMurray. Go to Charlottetown or Halifax or St. John,New Brunswick and see the same scene. Watch as the spouse and children of the workers cry as their partners leave for their next assignment. Then call them lazy bums.
There is a level of meanness amongst the Federal Conservatives in Canada that is stunning in its depth, breath and vindictiveness. I do not have the space to catalogue all of their sins in this regard but let me point out a few. One of the first was KAIROS, a churchy not for profit that was engaged in humanitarian work in some of the poorest regions of the world. Their crime was to have some internal discussions about the political direction of foreign aid. As a result their funding was cut.
This was followed by a parade of internal watchdogs and whistleblowers ranging from the head of the Nuclear Safety Commission to the Chief Statistician to diplomat Richard Colvin, who blew the whistle on Afghan prisoner abuse. All of them are gone. Now we hear that the National Round Table on the Environment and the Economy was shut down because it didn’t like the advice it was getting on addressing climate change, including the idea of introducing carbon taxes.
First the Environment Minister said that the reason for the closure was because such research can now be easily accessed through the Internet, and through universities and other think tanks. But Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird gave the real reason on Monday in the House of Commons. Here’s what CBC reported:
“Why should taxpayers have to pay for more than 10 reports promoting a carbon tax, something that the people ofCanadahave repeatedly rejected? That is a message the Liberal Party just will not accept,” Baird said in response to a question by Liberal Leader Bob Rae during question period.
“It should agree with Canadians. It should agree with the government. No discussion of a carbon tax that would kill and hurt Canadian families.”
There you have it. No discussion, no debate, no funding,
Mean, mean bastards!!
I read an article recently about how companies and organizations in Canada and around the world are trying to introduce manufacturing best practices into all aspects of their day to day lives, including their human resource functions like staffing and recruitment. It is an interesting concept but not one without its challenges in both implementation and effectiveness.
One thing that might work is the idea of eliminating steps in the staffing process and thereby reducing the time it takes to staff a vacant position. If done right this certainly has the potential to lower costs and improve service to customers. If done wrong it can be equally disastrous, especially if the faster staffing process misses a key quality control element like following up on references or checking education credentials. You could end up with not only the wrong hire, but even more serious problems later on.
But my biggest concern about “lean” approaches to human resource functions is that employees are not widgets on an assembly line and in our rush to the nirvana of efficiency we actually miss the point. That human resources and other people friendly services are often what separate man from machine. We have come a long ways from having a payroll office attached to finance and little else to support employees and managers to the modern concept of human resources and while we may save money I’m not sure it’s good business in the long run.
We have to continue to find ways to be more efficient and cost-effective in all our human resource functions. I don’t happen to believe that we’re ready for “just in time” HR. To me that takes away the value added of having skilled human resource advisers available to mentor managers, deal proactively with employee issues and help executives communicate their messages throughout the organization. And if lean means less, which it usually does I absolutely disagree with taking resources out of existing human resource operations.
These are trying financial times but human resources are absolutely the wrong place to cut staff or reduce expenditures. That’s because in good times they help the organization grow and in bad times they help you survive. Can we do things better? Absolutely. Can we be leaner in human resources? Yes. We can all stand to lose a few pounds. But let’s not pretend that putting you on a diet is going to help reduce my weight. There are no quick fixes in losing weight or cutting costs whether in manufacturing or human resources.
This post originally appeared on my blog at www.jobs.ca
Mike Martin is a freelance writer and workplace wellnsess consultant
mike54martin 
Congratulations… and Good Luck
I have been very fortunate in my working career. I have never been without work for more than a few months at a time and for most of my life I have actually been doing what I like for a living. I realize that makes me probably part of another 1%, those who like getting up and going to work in the morning versus the 99% who look forward to the weekends instead. It also makes me grateful for having had such great opportunities but it also makes me wonder what will happen to our sons and daughters and their children in the next generation of work.
They do have some clear advantages over my generation. First of all they are likely smarter and better educated. And they are certainly more technologically advanced. I am old, old school when it comes to computers. I still remember the days before personal computers when the “main frame” was in a massive room with banks of cooling fans and reams of printout paper that looked like it would choke the life out of the whole apparatus. Today they have no fear of technology and in fact believe that it is already their friend.
And time eventually will be on their side as old codgers like me and the rest of the baby boom generation finally gets the hell out of the workplace and makes some room for them. But they will patience because too many of us are likely going to working way past the suggested retirement age of 65, 67 or whatever it might be in the future. Some will work because they still like to and because they can but even more, especially women, will work in their senior years because they have to.
This means that in addition to everything else the younger generations will need a lot of patience, not usually a quality that is in great supply in our youth. They will also need luck in continuing to find placements and opportunities to learn and master their craft. And they will need to lower their expectations if they are going to have any sense of peace of mind during their early years. I saw a study a while ago that asked young people how much they thought they would make in their first few years after college or university. The answer was that they hoped to be in the $45k to $50k range which is not far off the mark. But when you asked them how much they thought they’d be making five years later these numbers soared to between $75k and $80k. As a wise person once said “not goin to happen.”
But the biggest challenge of all will be actually finding a job or career that has any kind of security, both in terms of tenure and compensation. And surviving through lean times with much less of a social safety net. Or having to move not just to other cities or provinces but other countries or continents. I wish them well as they head out with their cap and gown and youthful enthusiasm. I hope that they will be successful. My downsized living space is getting too small for another generation of adults to cohabitate with me.
Mike Martin is a freelance writer and workplace wellness consultant. He is the author of Change the Things You Can: Dealing With Difficult People.